Monday, September 7, 2009

And for Dessert I'll Have Pie!

Its been a while so I suppose I willl update first before I get to the tasty apple pie! Well, I am a single lady. eek. I don't really like being single, its lonely. I lay in my bed and sometimes cry because i'm lonley. My bed is lonely - I hate it. But, I would rather it be this way than live the life I was living. The divorce was finalized the 25 of August. My mom, April and her kiddo's and my friend Sheena went down to safford monday, and met up with my sister Tanya and the hotel. It was nice to have the support of my friends and family. At the hotel I had a great time with my mom and sista! We joked around and just had a good time. I wasn't too nervous that night, and I slept like a rock, I owe that all do my dad and Heavenly Father. Before we left my dad gave me a special blessing of peace, a clear mind, comfort and calm nerves. I got all of the above that day. I'm so grateful do have my dad who is a worthy Priesthood holder. Ok, So the day arrives and we have to be at the courthouse and 8 am. early I know but it was either that or wait until september. No thanks. So we get ready and I'm getting nervous. But when we get there, I am calm as a summers morning! The judge was very tender and nice. Funny story - His mom is aprils great aunt I believe and my grandma's best friend! Small world eh? And the judge was my mom's very good friend in high school! It was very nice to have him as my judge. It all went smoothly. Very sad to hear some of the questions that he asks, I even choked up answering them but I made it thru. Everything got signed and finalized. After that I just went numb. I didn't talk, I didn't cry. Freaked out my mom and such, and didn't talk the whole way home. We get home, and I just get sick that night! I didn't get any sleep, my stomach was just unsettled the whole night. That morning I threw up like 5 times. I think that my body just shut down from it all. It was just releasing it all. Towards the afternoon after I had talked to my mom, I instantly felt better. As I look back on it, Had I known what he was doing, I would never had married him. I loved him. I miss the good things of being married ( the little of it I experienced). I'm very angry that I am single again. I don't feel that I belong in the young single adult program - I' ve already gone through that. I've been married. I hate lessons on preparing to go to the temple, I've done that. I don't feel like I belong in relief society either. I hate lessons on strengthening eternal marriages. I feel that people are going to classify me as a young single adult that hasn't been married yet. But i have! They need like a divorced ward. Were your not classified as a young adult who doesn't know about marriage, and your not in classes where you are preparing to get married. It sucks. I am just having a hard time adjusting. I just don't know where I belong right now. I"m 21 and divorced. that's All i know so far, adn that I had my heart broken by someone I gave my whole heart too. Which leads me to my apple pie. If a man won't love my this apple pie sure will!
Its september and I am so ready for this fall season! This summer was hard and don't want it to stay any longer. I love fall! I love the leaves changing! I love harvesting all the garden goodies! I love picking apples off our neighbors apple tree! My dad went over and got some apples and I decided that I wanted to make an apple pie from scratch. and I decided that It had to have the lattice top! I love those! So my mom and I went to wal mart, got myself a pretty pie dish from the paula dean collection ( love it by the way) and we came home and had some fun! It turned out so delicious and was pretty easy to make!
Work is going, This past 5 days i worked! It kicked my but. But Those old folks melt my heart! I got to bead with an old lady and she made me a bead necklace for my badge! I love it. It was so sweet. I'm still lookin for a different job so if ya hear of anything let me know.
This is a very long post and I apologize, but this is what is going on in my life. enjoy.
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6 comments:

dntbaker said...

4 words:
I LOVE YOUR GUTS!

Ryan & Kim Pease said...

Don't worry.. someday.. SOON you will find a drop dead sexy man that treats you like a princess!!! Cuz you are one HAWT TAMALE!!! LOL! Keep your chin up!! You did the right thing.. and I'm very proud of you!!!You're definatly a strong strong girl.. or should i say woman?? Naa... I like girl better.. woman seems sooooo OLD!

Tannis Hine said...

oo i definately like girl better too! thanks kim :) tanya, 4 words back I luv your guts!

Aubry June said...

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!!! :)

The Cash Family said...

LOVE all the pics, especially the one of momma laying on the grass feeding herself! haaha

The Cash Family said...

oh, would you like to be in primary? i might be able to arrange some thing... :)